10 reasons why I voted for Kavanaugh

Because Dr Blasey Ford was way too credible to convince me. A little bit truthy, a little bit sleuthy and a whole lot too mouthy. Indelible in the hippocampus? What the hell was that?

Because how can such an obviously traumatized woman be sure what happened to her?

Because if the PC Nazis and their friends in the Democrat Party are going to start holding us responsible for what we did to girls in our fratboy days, no one’s safe. 

Because who wouldn’t be moved by Judge Kavanaugh’s sniffling, red-faced rage? We’ve all been there.

Because so what if a devil's triangle isn't really a drinking game? Are we going to hang a guy for bragging in his high school yearbook? 

Because, sure, I’m undermining the integrity of the Supreme Court, but I’m doing it for a higher good – to undermine reproductive rights, voting rights, employee rights, LGBT rights, environmental protection, and the possibility that you’ll ever be able to get healthcare without going bankrupt.

Because the Clintons.

Because, as a US Senator, it’s my duty to respond to the concerns of my Trump-voting constituents.

Because women have had their say. 

Because the Republican Party’s got all the dirt they need to bury me.